A Buddhist View of Romantic Love

The ultimate goal of Buddhism is to do away with attachment and attain nirvana, a state of contentment that reduces one’s worldly desire, like the pursuit of wealth, fame as well as sexual pleasure.

Romantic love can’t be seen as an attachment, though sometimes it makes people suffer from the pain of breaking up or the sadness of emotional disorder. However, the main benefit of romantic love is that it does make people warm and loved in heart. A people who are dealing with a romantic relationship turns out to show more love and kindness to others than those who keep away from it.

It is better to make a clear difference between attachment and love.

It refers to one’s wanting or craving not to separate or keep away from someone or something. It is caused by discontentment or dissatisfaction. The aim of attachment to someone or something is to get individual pleasure. In this sense, attachment is selfish, claimed as conditional love without compassion.

It refers to wishing others happy. It is one’s true feeling to others. It is unconditional, compassionate, not self-oriented and based on self-acceptance.

Love and Attachment

It is said that love with attachment is composed of waves of emotions. It may include too many bonds that may cause unhappiness, thus being called ”ordinary love”.

  • Ordinary love is associated with selfishness. It is only showed on the condition that others has helped you.
  • Ordinary love is associated with beauty, fame, wealth and statue, which is unable to stand the test of time and distance.
  • Attachment is based on selfish expectations, exaggerations as well as unavoidable disappointment. Buddhism points out the avoidance of attachment in hope of giving us guidelines on the way to gain true love.

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